Sunday, May 28, 2006

He wants us to "ask"

“Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full” (John 16:24).

I remember being told that when you ask for something you have to be specific with what you ask for. Simple, but sometimes we are the ones who make things complex.

This was yesterday's meditation in the Word Among Us online. I've been intenting to write about this particular passage before but never seemed to get the right words out. I admire those people who really write well and able to express themselves clearly in writing, about their dreams and aspirations.

There were many times that it actually makes me embarassed to "ask" for what I really want in various settings. One is if a friend is taking me out to dinner or treating us, I would hold the menu and just say "go ahead please order for us" always thinking that I might order to much or something out-of-budget for my friend. In another time, if someone ask what do I want for my birthday, I just say anything climbing gear or whatever, very general category. Sometimes for lack of anything in mind I just say "world peace".

Then in one of my crossroads in 2001, I learned from a sharing of friend that we should be specific in our prayers. Deep inside I thought this is really very self-centered and very demanding. I thought of one of the talks that said God is not a vending machine. But this friend in her sharing says that our Father in heaven even though He knows what we need and what our hearts desire is even before we ask Him, like a true father, He wants us to ask.

I remember a brother in Lingkod shared-- "the greatest desire of our heart fills a great need in the world". God is the one who placed that desire in our heart to be fulfilled-- a purpose. We were created to be instruments of His plan. We may or may not know it right now what that is in our life right now. There will be questions along the way and that is the exciting part-- in discovering these in our life.

He created us to have a full life and He wants our joy to be full, that is why He wants us to ask.

kinasal na po sila

Congratulations Paul and Mhel! May God bless your life together. Thank you for inviting us to your beautiful celebration of life and love.

Happy Anniversary to Rocky and Eve same date--May 26th.

Monday, May 22, 2006

enchanted river

Instead of going to the doctor today, I wish I will be riding a boat going to enchanted river in Hinatuan Bay to swim and bathe in the cool brackish waters.


I miss eating all those seafoods when I visit the project sites. Iam craving for fresh seafoods. Sarap. Pasensya na puro pagkain ang entry ko today :O) kahit tapos na maglihi si Nanay :O)

Seafood pictures from Hinatuan, Surigao del Sur and Davao.

Pagkaing Pinoy

Huge servings of Pansit and Lomi. Sarap kainin with Monay.

Pictures from Davao

That huge serving of pansit and Lomi for less than $2 US.

Sunday, May 21, 2006

As I love you

The Gospel today urged me to ponder on this verse. But to be more specific during mass, I distinctly heard that I was being moved to write about "undemanding love", I thought, is it unconditional love that I am being sked to share about?

"This is my commandment: Love one another as I love you"--John 15:12

I was reminded that to truly "love" is to be undemanding, to be understanding and to be accepting of the people around us. More often than not, "if" the person did not deliver his promise(s) to do this, to serve like this, to deliver this---many expectation of ours(imagined or otherwise), the usual human reaction is to ignore the person, give him the cold shoulder, and many other forms of human behavior to let the person know that we were hurt and not ready to express our "love" and be vulnerable to this person again. More often than not, if someone or something do not "deliver" on our expectations, we inhibit to express our love, and sometimes even cease to express our love. I think we do this so as not to be vulnerable.

But to truly love is to be vulnerable. To be ready that the response to our love is nothing. And yet continue to express our love.

I believe that we are called to love the way He loves us. His love is for everyone. He became vulnerable on the cross for all of us. The greatest manifestation of His love.

Writing about it and talking about it is easy. But to truly live and love the way He loves us is difficult. Honestly examine the details of our own lives, let us look at our own shortcomings and see the evident hypocrisy in the way we sometimes express our imperfect way of love. To move from lip service to actually making this way of "loving one another" real in our lives is our daily call in everything that we do.

Lord, I pray for the grace to love the way You love us.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Spoons are not just for soups

A week ago the editorial of the Philippine Daily Inquirer Sunday edition gave a discourse on the Filipino child immigrant to Canada who was corrected by his lunch monitor for using a spoon while eating his lunch. The mother complained to the principal but the principal said "Madame you are in Canada, you should do what Canadians do". Eventually the issue got attention of a Canadian NGO. Issues of racism followed. Personally, I believe it was really insensitive of the teacher and principal to punish a 7 year old for using a spoon making him sit alone when he uses his spoon. It affected the child so much so that he doesn't want to eat anymore.

Filipinos use spoons to eat anything and everything not just soups. It is a cultural thing. The priest in Claret last Sunday even asked "O who wants to migrate to Canada?" as his opening sentence for his homily. The priest said "we should forgive them for they do not know what they are doing".

I mentioned to Amats "kumulo talaga ang dugo ko ng mabasa ko yung editorial na yun".

Years ago in 1997, I was with a couple of French consultants. We ate at a local restaurant where we were given a set of spoon and fork. We ordered grilled fish steak but we did not order soup. Then one of the guys asked, how are we going to eat our food? where are the knives? I answered plainly, we use our spoons.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay

click here.


My monthly pre-natal check ups at the Delgado Hospital are now forthnightly. I am on my 34 to 35 weeks. It is always a bit crazy when we go to the doctor's clinic. Delgado is known to be a hospital for mother's-to-be. Since it caters to more of the "masses", patients are always over flowing in the cramped waiting room. In the back of my mind, I think I chose this particular hospital because of the unique mother and baby sculpture they have out front that I always notice years before when the jeepney I am riding passes by Kamuning street. But even now that there is no more sculpture, I still chose this hospital because huge expensive hospitals like Capitol Med or St. Lukes in my opinion are over rated and to say that these hospitals are expensive is an understatement. We cannot afford them (period).

I guess you could say after 6 months visiting my OB Gyn, I already know the routine. The clinic hours are 10 to 12 am but I learned to arrive at 11:30am and I will still arrive a few minutes earlier than my doctor. The waiting room is full of expectant nanays and tatays including toddlers that cannot be left alone in the house. Since the doctors clinics are small, there are about 8 clinics with just one, yes (1) small waiting room. The clinics are not just OB but includes a few Pedia, a Dentist, a couple of Cardio so you can just imagine the mixture of patients mingling and waiting at the (low roof) lobby. As you wait before your name is called, even if you close your ears (if you can) you'll be updated on the latest news and experience of the patients.

Eventually your name will be called and it is a rush of things. Blood pressure and weight monitored, questions asked, papers filled up.

Sometimes a bit disorienting and one can only move so fast with all the tummy protruding hehehe.

Then the monitoring of the fetal heart beat and when you hear that "life beat", the reality comes before you again, that there is actually two hearts beating within. A beat that reminds you that things will be alright, that God is in control and that He is taking care of her.

A miracle of life waiting to be born.

Friday, May 05, 2006

Baby Jane

My niece Baby Jane 1 yr and 5 months old has been confined to the hospital since the other night. Yesterday I went to visit my sister and my "pamangkin". It was a very small room, airconditioned ( at least a respite from the heat from the house in Frisco for them), my sister I guess was a bit emotionally stressed as I found her talking to a resident doctor. Later in the afternoon, the Pedia arrived saying that little Jane have unusually high bacterial count in her blood for a baby. The doctor together with two other nurse examined my little niece. All this time she was patiently just following what they would do with curious eyes (since she just woke up from afternoon nap and an occasional creased eyebrows) it is hard to know what is really bothering her for she isn't talking yet just a few words. But she can point to her tummy or throat or if she wants something. She didn't cry all this time until they poked her throat and got something white. Anyway, I realized how hard it is for mothers and doctors also to know what is happening when the patient cannot say what is happening.

Last night just before we went home, Amats and I prayed over baby Jane and layed our hands on her for her healing. It has been a while since I layed hands on the sick and it was different for the little person we are praying for is playing with our out streched hands. I just felt reassured after that all shall be well. God bless you Baby Jane.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

naupud na akong thumb sa pag blog

Your Blogging Type is Pensive and Philosophical

You blog like no one else is reading...
You tend to use your blog to explore ideas - often in long winded prose.
Easy going and flexible, you tend to befriend other bloggers easily.
But if they disagree with once too much, you'll pull them from your blogroll!

what do you mean power month?

Your Birthdate: February 16

You're incredibly introverted and introspective. You live inside your head.
You spend a lot of alone time meditating and thinking.
People see you as withdrawn, and at times they are right.
You are caring and deep, but it may be difficult for you to show this side of yourself.

Your strength: Your original approach to thinking

Your weakness: You tend to shy away from others

Your power color: Pale blue

Your power symbol: Wavy line

Your power month: July

Monday, May 01, 2006

forms of writing

Last 3 days was a bit intense for me. I just discovered there is a window for a grant that was due April 30. I needed to come up with a proposal in 3 days time to meet that deadline that was yesterday. This particular opportunity I cannot pass by because we badly need additional funds this year for the project and this opportunity came at a time that we needed it.

Another deadline was Saturday April 29th, I need to finish my draft SP for final comments of my adviser and the ENRM 290 coordinator. I need to send them these copies last Saturday for them to at least have some time to comment on these as May 1st is a holiday from regular work my adviser hopefully will have time and the coordinator too. I need their final comments before I submit the final hard bound copies due May 8th at UPOU.

I was able to finish the draft SP last Saturday and finish the proposal that was due Sunday. I truly thank God for giving me enough energy to accomplish these task. I do not know where all these came from but I knew that the Divine helped me accomplish all that I needed to do.

When I felt weak I rested and when I had the energy I continued on. The summer heat is still unrelenting, pounding on our walls and literally burning our place converting our little hole into an oven. But despite all these challenges and then some on the side which I cannot publish here ( to preserve relationships hehehe) God was really generous by providing me with the strength just to keep on.

I cant believe there is enough energy left for writing in this blog. I guess there are many forms of writing and bloggin helps me come to terms with the things at hand. And to appreciate what I am truly blessed with.

I am again reaffirmed that in my weakness He is my strength.

My comfort

While I was browsing the mother's book this early afternoon, I received this note.

"As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you." Isaiah 66:13

rooted where?

The past week was a bit full and I have experienced lots of emotional ups and downs due to many things. I was surprised that small petty things that before did not disturb me before now seems a bigger issue than I used to perceive them.

I thank God for a loving husband who understands what I am I going through. When I said sorry again for one of my guilt trips of the unloving behavior I did, Amats would say it might be your hormones acting up again.

It is difficult, being a regular woman and the monthly PMS period thing, the mood swings and all. But now during pregnancy, because of the many changes that my body is going through right now, I could hardly get a reign of these hormones. Well I believe that I am still human. But I am thankful for this experience. I think this is one of my advanced test in "patience". I am receiving the best lesson in patience specially for these nine months. But I am thankful nonetheless and will not trade this lesson. Although I feel weak many times, tired by the demands of work and daily routine.

Then in one of those weak moments--Amats reminded me: if what you do is not rooted in God, if you only rely on your own strength, then it will be difficult. Indeed.