wish list

While on the train yesterday going back from my tiangge shopping for Christmas, my thoughts once again revolved around what I should get for my inaanak, my family, my nephew etc etc. And while I was also on checking out the stalls looking something I cant find anything that I want. At the end of the day, I had a huge bag of gifts.

Then I thought maybe I should be really clear of what I want. It would be really easy to shop if I have a clear idea in mind what I need and want for Christmas.

Well here goes my list. I am just putting this out there for the Universe.

1. Nikon D300 digital SLR camera- for the longest time I've been wanting to have a digital slr camera and been putting off buying one. Depending on our budget I might look into the Nikon D60 in Quiapo.

2. A compact digicam-- I want something that I can put in my small purse kind of camera aside from the dslr. This is truly indulging in my photography geekyness hehehe but want to catch those special moments wherever I find myself be it be in the palengke or a playdate in UP eating fish balls. This digicam is preferably water resist to 30meters as well so I can bring it with me to the beach and diving expeditions.

3. A pelican for all these gears of course when I am outdoors :)

4. Round trip tickets to Europe for Tatay, Baby and I to visit Ate Rose and Kuya Per in Sweden. Visit Vincent and Joy and the new baby in London.

5. Aerosole shoes both flat and heels (but not too high)even though I am always in my TNF shoes I love the idea that once in a while I can wear a real nice pair of heels. Maybe thow in a pair of dancing shoes as well since I'll be having my dance class regularly.

6. TNF jacket

7. to be continued

I will be making up a list for Baby soon :)

Sarap din mangarap :) libre naman di vah? kaya dadagdagan ko pa yan.

blessing received today

Today is a great day. I received a present from the Universe something that I've been wishing will soon be manifested in a couple of months. I will tell you more about it next year when it happens. I realized that it happened because I was able to receive the help of special people. I want to truly from the bottom of my heart thank you all today. You know who you are. I will be writing about this particular blessing next year.

Just wanted to say thank you to the Universe. And always be reminded in the future that life is good.

Salamat kay God :)

early sunday morning

Lately, I haven't shared my thoughts in this blog. But I've been wanting to write most of them. So many things happening at the same time. Because the memories seem to fade with time and we always tend to forget the little details that is why I've been meaning to have them written down. Only a journal can help me remember the simple, ordinary and mundane things that gives me so much joy. When I come back to read them, each detail is like a morsel which I can enjoy like small nuggets of my favorite chocolate mints.

Last Sunday morning, I got up really early to make it to my 7am Pilates and dance class date with Rolyn my dentist friend. Thanks to her, I discovered the Pilates and the Belly Dancing Class.

I snuck out of the house while Tatay and Baby are still asleep. Well, Tatay Amats was still half- asleep when I mentioned that I will be out for the most part of the morning. So there I was out of the house a few minutes before 7am on a Sunday morning. I thought it would be hard to get up since we love to sleep in specially during the weekends. But I was really happy to be up and about wearing my quick dry shirt I only put on during climbs and comfortable old pair of jogging pants on my way to my dance class. I can't remember when was the last time I had dance class. It was a happy thought that I am indeed going to one this morning.

There was a light morning breeze and the air was cool. The sun was just up in the horizon with a nice warm glow over the trees. I remembered the time when I was always out on hiking trips every weekend. I actually miss my weekend warrioring days. My wanderlust still is in my bones.

I arrived early but there was the earlier dance class so I took some time to do some brisk walking around the park for warm up. I was amazed at the number of people awake and enjoying the early Sunday morning. I thought, we are missing this wonderful hour to spend time outdoors. People from all ages were there: joggers, martial arts and arnis students, families with the grand parents, old and young running, walking their dog, teens playing ball and even small babies sleeping under trees. I smiled at the sight of all these people doing their own thing as I walk around enjoying the cool morning air. I felt alive and awakened in a familiar kind of way.

Then later I found Rolyn, Hannah and Rodney's mom already at hall. While waiting for the Belly dancing class, I joined the Pilates class for a short while but did not go through the whole routine. It was hard it reminded me of my lost Pilates workout dvd.

I was really happy to be dancing with women double my age but there were also a few much younger than me. It was a mixed group of women who seem to really love dancing. Everyone has their dance gear for belly dancing: that wrap around skirt with the coin-like tassels which is the signature piece of belly dancers. It was really fun to be with this group even though I don't have my dance gear yet they welcome me into the group.

The dance routine was as fun and happy as I expected it to be. But what surprised me is that it was indeed a great workout. I found myself with stitches on the side during the session. It was about an hour of classic belly dancing.

Next hour, we had some Polynesian dance routines (where the dance steps were very familiar because I had classes when I was in kindergarten) and the last hour was devoted to what they called Brazilian dance. But I felt it looked very much like Capoeira moves. I was really exhausted at the end. I was very much impressed with the older women twice my age who just danced away without a blink literally. This goes to show how I really need the exercise.

Dance class ended with people still smiling and sweating. I came up to ask the instructor about the dance gear. Really enjoyed myself and even entertained the idea of the recital next year :)

I got myself the full gear for belly dancing! Now I am hooked!

Pasko na naman

I've been pondering about how we collectively and individually celebrate Christmas. I chanced upon a blog that inspired me to write some thoughts about the season.

Usually it is a time of giving and receiving. Only birthday I know that even people who are not believers still celebrate. Our manner of celebration varies depending on our beliefs and upbringing. But for the majority there seems to be a constant: "gift" as tokens of love.

I realized the truth of the saying: to be able to give love, you have to have love in your heart. Your love tank at least should be refilled when we continuously do the business of being human. Christmas is a great opportunity to give love and receive love as well.

Recently, I observed that most people busy shopping have a list of people that they need to buy gifts. Some people even made it to a science on how to shop, wrap and deliver gifts to the long list of family, inaanak, workmates and friends.

But what struck me with this routine was that rarely do we see people have a clear list of what they want for themselves. A blog of young lady that I regularly read because of her levelheadedness, quirky and well written thoughts gave me some perspective. She is one of those people that seem to have it all but in a well adjusted kind of way. I've seen her list for this year which is more of need than wants. But what was inspiring is for her to share these with a note of "not-expecting-anyone-to-buy-me-these-note". But there she published it. She just put it there for the Universe to bring to her.

A balanced perspective I thought.

My Anak, My Teacher

I have resisted talking about being a mom. I guess the resistance comes from the fact that it is too close to the heart. And to write about it in this blog lets say that it's in a manner of speaking to make oneself vulnerable.

Raising a child is indeed a great responsibility. Now I am being taught the lessons of life by my child.

She teaches me patience 24/7. Potty training is still a struggle. Its 1:25am in the wee hours of the morning and we are awake trying to clean up her nappy half asleep.

She teaches me how to be selfless, truly thinking of another before thinking of myself. Buying clothes and shoes for her is a joy not a task. It is a joy to see her eat well specially when she tries to get that morsel about to enter my mouth.

She opens my eyes to the wonder of very ordinary things. The joy of discovery and learning the most basic things. It was pure joy to hear her count, identify shapes and colors, connecting that the letter W is the symbol of Wonder Pets saying Hi to Mingming whenever she sees the letter.

She teaches me to be respectful. Saying "sorry" even if it was my mistake. I am truly humbled.

She teaches me to face the challenge of being a good parent. Her tantrums are a reflection of my own actions. I am ashamed of some of the things that she saw. But sometimes my guard is down but still it is not an excuse to not be vigilant always.

There are many many more daily challenges that we try to overcome. There are also many small victories.

I thought I would be an excellent parent, that "I will be that" and "I will not be that" because I've seen it done. But life will just surprise you. I thought being an aunt will prepare me for parenthood. But I was wrong.

Still I look forward to the many years that my anak will teach me. I look forward to the many memories that we will make together.

I love you anak!