Foot in my tummy

The other night, I woke up with a movement in my tummy. It was my baby's foot streching inside my tummy. I can actually see the peak formed as it rises and falls back in place again. I lie there awakened by reality that indeed there is a small life inside of me. I cannot even begin to describe the wonder of the experience. Words fail me and words cannot fully describe the miracle of a growing life. I am in awe and at the same time scared. I feel spiritually blessed by the experience and yet troubled by the passing thoughts of inadequacy. But still, the wonder of the moment sustains me to overcome the many challenges and changes that pregnancy brings.

At this moment in time, I am at a turning point in my life. I am here on the 11th hour full of expectant-ness. I treasure this small wonders and changes everyday. I never thought a foot in my tummy would bring waves upon waves of joy and awe.

Pagbati para kay Marianne

Congratulations to Ate Ardis and Kuya Joe Dean for the birth of their 3rd baby at 2a.m. this morning at Capitol Medical. Warm hugs and our blessings for Marianne Grace.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is not forgetting an injustice done; it is the understanding that allows us to set aside the emotional impact of that injustice pertaining to ourselves. When we no longer hold those emotions, and have understanding for the person, we have forgiven them.

--Moon Singer

I've been pondering on a recurring issue of forgiveness. I know that I have been a recipient of kindness and of forgiveness. It is really hard to be human. I now deeply appreciate why we should pray the Our Father daily. I believe it is to constantly remind us that we are forgiven and in turn must forgive.

The complex dynamics of life sometimes makes it hard to practice this.

It took a few days for me to stumble upon an answer to some questions playing in my head the past days. It was mostly about how one can just forget and forgive. But as the verse aptly says it is a process of understanding. This process I think is not timebound for most people.

I remember another qoute that goes: we forgive not something we do for other people, we do it for ourselves, to get well and move on.

Final Manuscript

"Plan for what is difficult while it is easy, do what is great while it is small. The most difficult things in the world must be done while they are still easy, the greatest things in the world must be done while they are still small. For this reason sages never do what is great, and this is why they can achieve that greatness."

- Attributed by Sun Tzu to warriors of ancient times.

The first time I encountered this verse was from an email from a friend and classmate in UP Open University as his email signature a few years back when we were struggling with paper work for our Masters program in Environment and Natural Resource Management and that friend graduated with flying colors a year back. Recently, I noticed another friend and classmate now using it as his email signature in our egroups for MENRM. There are several of us still working on our Special Problem-- the last and final requirement for graduation this August 2006.

Looking back, it has been five years since 2001 when I first started this graduate program. The subjects I was taking was complementary to my current work for the past five years. My subjects which I studied on distance learning mode such as biodiversity conservation, coastal zone management, and coastal anthropology among others were really interesting and complemented my work in the field.

Right now, I am very lethargic and my energy almost zapped, reading, and doing some revisions to the final manuscript. Currently, I am still waiting for some more revisions and corrections from adviser and coordinator that I need to submit soon. Hopefully before my EDD (Expected Date of Delivery).

I am amazed that I am almost at the finish line. It was really God's grace and perfect timing that led me to where I am now.

My friend El said "I can't believe you are about to graduate from your masters program, we hang out naman".

I guess it was bit by bit, step by step. Gracia rin lang talaga.