I have resisted talking about being a mom. I guess the resistance comes from the fact that it is too close to the heart. And to write about it in this blog lets say that it's in a manner of speaking to make oneself vulnerable.
Raising a child is indeed a great responsibility. Now I am being taught the lessons of life by my child.
She teaches me patience 24/7. Potty training is still a struggle. Its 1:25am in the wee hours of the morning and we are awake trying to clean up her nappy half asleep.
She teaches me how to be selfless, truly thinking of another before thinking of myself. Buying clothes and shoes for her is a joy not a task. It is a joy to see her eat well specially when she tries to get that morsel about to enter my mouth.
She opens my eyes to the wonder of very ordinary things. The joy of discovery and learning the most basic things. It was pure joy to hear her count, identify shapes and colors, connecting that the letter W is the symbol of Wonder Pets saying Hi to Mingming whenever she sees the letter.
She teaches me to be respectful. Saying "sorry" even if it was my mistake. I am truly humbled.
She teaches me to face the challenge of being a good parent. Her tantrums are a reflection of my own actions. I am ashamed of some of the things that she saw. But sometimes my guard is down but still it is not an excuse to not be vigilant always.
There are many many more daily challenges that we try to overcome. There are also many small victories.
I thought I would be an excellent parent, that "I will be that" and "I will not be that" because I've seen it done. But life will just surprise you. I thought being an aunt will prepare me for parenthood. But I was wrong.
Still I look forward to the many years that my anak will teach me. I look forward to the many memories that we will make together.
I love you anak!
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