Deaths

The past weekend was a time for me to reflect again on death and dying. Nov 1 is the time of year that we remember those who passed away. Remembering our family and friends who have departed this Earth is always always melancholy. It reminds me of many things and more than that the many lesser deaths that we experience everyday.

The last week of October seem to fill me with many reminders of loved ones who passed away.

Some truths are unbelievable than fiction sometimes. My lola who died in 1988 just got her lapida (tombstone). I only realized the past weeks that it would be her 20th death anniversary this coming Nov 30th. I dont know whose fault it is but in her original lapida something was wrong typo error of some sort that I cant exactly recall. Many years has passed and it was only this year that a lapida finally marked where she was buried. It was a mix of emotions for me.

I was wondering and I cant even hide my disappointment to my father. I was wondering whose obligation was it to be responsible of making sure that my lola's grave was marked?

Also it has been 4 years since my Tita has died and her grave was still unmarked until last Nov 1.

Then last Oct 29th my phone reminded me that it is the birthday of one of my closest friend who died recently Rex.

All these thoughts has been running through my mind while I stare at the candle burn away on that Saturday afternoon.

My mind drifted to the many lesser deaths that we encounter everyday.

When a good friend moves away to relocate to another home. You never get to see them more often and it seems a lesser death.

When you move on from one work to another. You leave behind co-workers and friends and the home that you made there like what I felt when I left Palawan after working there for a year. it felt like a lesser death. Tears came flowing at that time. it seems that clouds would not go away.

But then again things happen for a reason. A design that we cannot fully grasp until it is revealed to us. These lesser deaths made me strong, taught me a lesson and even with the thought of my own immortality, in an uncanny way, made me resolve to live a better life.

urging me to make every moment count. realize that life is finite and even so with the lesser deaths, we strive to live it to the fullest.