Darurat Nasional di Filipina

This is the headline here today of the Bali Post. That our dear country was in a state of emergency on the 20th Anniversary of the EDSA Revolution.

It is sad to read emails and newsupdates from INQ7 seeing the crowd giving flowers to the soldiers that image transported me to an old memory that even at a young age at that time was a memory to be part of a country whose people care for their mother land.

Just 30 minutes after the state of emergency we were informed here in our workshop. I thought we really are now a global village. In a matter of an hour I read blogs of friends, emails from friends and online versions of broadsheets with just a click I was virtually there.

It is really a sad time para sa Pilipinas.

Where we are at Bali

Singapore

The orchid garden at Singapore airport. Our flight to Singapore was delayed last sunday and spent a good amount of time waiting in line. Patience is being tried as always. I guess one thing that usually comes with age is that people start to "mellow" and in some ways grow in patience for glitches like this happen. Traveling I think makes you grow in patience and look at things in a better and wider perspective.

My compass

Today is a bit frantic, for I will be leaving for Singapore at 2PM today then later onwards to Bali, Indonesia. My head is aching and I am worried with the condition of our baby in my tummy but am reassured by two doctors who gave me the "go" signal for this business trip to Bali of 10 days. I'll be on the road for a while again.

Thank God that Amats and I were able to hear mass at Claret early today 7:45 rather than our usual 11AM. I just felt a bit more grounded. "Clinging on my compass" so to speak for the many directions that life and work is bringing me, I still hope and rely only on His grace to pull me through and give me direction.

Again my favorite author Fulghum comes to mind about clocks and compass. Like him I'd rather wear a compass than a watch on my wrist. Time is relative it passes by so quickly, countries have different time and people have different idea of time. But a compass gives you direction--but you need to have a bearing. I pray that God remain my true north. That He may always stir me towards the direction He wants me to take.

I consider this trip as a gift because I've always wanted to see Bali and experience the unique Balinese culture. Like my friend Mayang during her pregnancy she was still able to visit Europe for a vacation. I thank God for this blessing and opportunity.

35 years!

Three decades and five years. I can't believe it when I woke up today and that is my new year's age. How does it feel to be 35 years old? I really do not feel much older than before. It has been great the past years, there were ups and downs but still great. I'm thankful for all those years that shaped me today, all the places I've lived in (Alaminos, Los Banos, Tawi-Tawi and Palawan), all the unique places that I've visited (Kathmandu, Okinawa, Auckland, Brisbane, GBR, Madang, Tubbataha and many more), and all those who have stood by me through these years (you know who you are) - friends who gave me shelter and family who loved me for who I am. And the community that helped me renew and deepen my relationship with the One who loved us first! Thank you Lord for all Your blessings. Thank you for the gift of life.

I am looking forward to the coming years, of growing old gracefully. I still want to climb mountains, travel to unique places and dance until those golden years. Well it is not really my golden years yet but I understand when one of my friends said that we should celebrate growing old. There are many things that gets better with age, wine, cheese and other inner strengths and traits that can come only with the molding of the years.

At mass today, the final blessing was "go forth and continue to hunger for a better life". A message of hope that things could actually be better and to believe and yearn for that as your prayer was the residual feeling I carry from that blessing.

This year a diffent kind of realization of inner celebration came upon me. It is the first time in many years that I have come to really, really appreciate growing old.

"Thank God for you"

"I thank God for you"... everyday since we got married this is the short affirmation I say to my husband in the evening before sleeping and when I wake up in the mornings. An affirmation and prayer in one said everyday. Let me say it here to honor you my beloved "I thank God for you Amats".

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We do not really observe valentine's day and I was thinking of my blog entry of our non-observance of this day remembering our couple friends who make it a point not to date on this day. And after getting married I do not really expect anything special to happen. But after waking up this morning to a table of flowers and heart shaped donuts in pinks and reds I was really happy to be on the receiving end ( now thinking about it I do appreciate this things however cheesy! hehehe). Receiving the unexpected is experiencing His grace.

St. Valentine, Phil, Eros and AGape

I never thought that St. Valentine was a priest until today when I googled the History of Valentines Day. I guess I didn't look him up years before--I just had this idea that he is just one of those fictional characters and another form of Valentino ha!

Anyway, I was also thinking of doing a discourse about the many forms of love but I think there is enough here in the web to update you on that so I'll just refer you to this "Short Handbook on Love".

Lauds

Last weekend, we spent some time with close friends Melo and Jas. Since Melo needs to prepare for a talk the coming week he needs to go to LST in Ateneo to get some material. We tagged along Amats and I, spending a warm afternoon with friends. The JesCom shop was closed and I just kept looking at the all the nice readings and wonderful CDs-- silently inside I've been wanting a Lauds album but never had one.

Something good came up, we met Alan and told us as there was a talk and that the Lauds Seven album will be launched that afternoon. The shop was closed because there was a set up downstairs for the launch. Since I came in my slippers with no money Amats and I decided we cannot afford to buy the album.

All the while on the side Jas bought CDs and tapes. Later in the car, she gave a copy of the Lauds Seven CD as a gift to us. "Awww...thanks" was my reaction, as I did not really expect it. I was really happy and felt that God blessed this small unspoken wish. Now as I write and listen to the CD, I felt His warm reassuring embrace that I am His daughter.

fatigue

This bit of information page 114 from "What to expect when you're expecting", helped me get through my first trimester:

The concern is: "I'm tired all the time. I am worried that I won't be able to continue working."

Answer: "It would be surprising if you weren't tired. In some ways, your pregnant body is working harder even when you are resting than a nonpregnant body is when mountain-climbing..."

Sigh, no wonder.

Team Diesel

One of my last major climb (major climbs being multi-day climbs at least 3 days walk up the mountains at a certain elevation) I remember leading a team. There were 3 of us and the two team mates Xiel and Richelle are both newbies but strong and determined. Team Diesel that is what we call ourselves because we realized, we were really slow at starting up, always starting cold, walking at the slowest pace among the other teams... but eventually our winds will find us and will be walking with ease and catch up with the others. The joy of every climb is not just reaching the summit, it's each step taken, each breath, the trek, the journey and the revelations that the mountain has for the one who takes time to look and smell the pine trees.

I am writing this piece to acknowledge how really slow I am at the start of things, the year itself. This year, although is the second month already just seems to be beginning. No resolutions. I guess I never ever did stick to any if ever i thought of doing things differently. One of my favorite writers Robert Fulghum writes about thinking of all the good things done last year, put it in a list and label it as his last years resolutions. I think we have the same wavelength for I agree on that one indeed.

Slowly the year is just beginning--- as always I am full of hope that things will get better for each passing year. Looking back, it has really been great specially the past year.

Recently I posted here the year of the dog pics to remind me that "Hey! it is New Year already!" it is also fun to celebrate with our Chinese bros and sis they always look forward to prosperity and all that Chinese jazz.

Slowly cleaning my drawers, uncluttering our house and inner thoughts, finding my bearing, hoping for the best, nothing written on paper, prayers in my heart, breathing the air, walking at ease, knowing that He is leading the way is enough for me.

I believe it will be a good year.